Last Thread of Sanity
by Pawn Of The Fates
Summary: YAOI (RikuxSora) Friends come and go. Dreams change. Hope is fragile. And love can be as bitter as it is sweet. Sora learns that to get by all of the trials of coming of age, he has to hang on to the last thread of sanity that lingers within.
1. Intro: Author's Notes and Warning

Author's Opening notes and Warnings:

Hello everyone, and welcome to my first ever fanfiction. I've been a member of this site for about a year, and have had the privilege of reading some amazing fanfics. Finally, I decided it was time to try it myself.

There's just a few things I wanted to go over before you get into the story, I'll try to brief about them, but I have a habit of rambling on. So I apologize in advance.

In depth summary:

This is about Sora, a teenage boy trying to make it through life and high school without getting too damaged by what it may throw at him. He soon learns how life really works and much things can change. Friends come and go. Dreams change. Hope is fragile. And love can be as bitter as it is sweet. Sora learns that to get by all of the trials of coming of age, he has to hang on to the last thread of sanity that lingers within. But that's easier said than done.

The summary is a little misleading. Even though this story is under the Romance/Comedy classification there will be angst, but that's common with almost any teenage fiction as the life of a young adult is filled with it. But this story will have parts based on my own life and personal experiences, which means that comedy will be intertwined with even some of the more tense and dramatic scenes. Sort of bittersweet. That's just the way my life works, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This fanfic is PG-13 for now, but the rating may go up in later chapters depending on how graphic scenes may get or how vulgar the consversations may become (cursing...that sort of thing).

About the title:

I'll be honest, my teenage life was pretty shitty at some points. That kind of happens when you're a bit of loner. But there was something I used to tell my friends, and I still feel this way.

"_Sometimes it feels like I'm dangling above the proverbial abyss of insanity, desperately clinging to my last thread of sanity."_

Anyone who's experienced life in it's most destructive and cruel form at any time knows how this feels. That everyone and everything is out to drive you insane, and you hang on tightly to your sanity praying to get by just one more day.

Warnings:

I would greatly appreciate reviews, but I will not tolerate flames. If you don't like what I write, please don't feel that it gives you the justification to write me a rather nasty entry condemning me to the deepest pits of Hell. Constructive criticism is an option believe it or not. I have no problem with someone writing me and pointing out mistakes, or asking questions, and even offering some suggestions. Do not expect me to retaliate either, you'll simply be ignored.

This is a Yaoi fanfic, which means that it contains homosexual relationships and references. If you don't like the idea of two young me being in love with one another, then this is DEFINITELY not the story for you.

The current rating is PG-13. But, as I said, that rating may go up later depending on how the story develops.

This isn't so much as a warning as it is a statement. This is primarily a Riku/Sora pairing. There will be other pairings later on down the line. I may include an original character or two in there story, but the primary cast is from Kingdom Hearts as well as a few from other Final Fantasy games.

Disclaimer:

I do not own any characters from Kingdom Hearts or the Final Fantasy series. They are the sole property of Square-Enix and Disney.

That's pretty much it. Thanks for reading this far and I hope you enjoy the story. Wish me luck!


	2. Up to Speed: Part One

Chapter One: Up to Speed (Part One)

_**CLACK! Clack! Clack! Clacka...clacka...clackaclackaclack...**_

As the defenseless stone came to a rest in the middle of the cobblestone street, Sora almost felt sorry for the way he had been callously kicking it for the past fifteen minutes.

_Almost._

With a scowl forming over the present pout on his youthful face, Sora stomped up to the abused stone. With a fluid grace, the young man brought his yellow and black sneaker clad foot up, and brought it swiftly and aggressively down to the stone, launching it into the air...

_**PAAAAANNNGGG!**_

...and into the side of a mailbox. Wincing at the loud noise and the now dented mailbox, Sora quickly glanced around to see if anybody had been present to witness his unintentional act of vandalism. However, due to the extreme hour of the morning, the streets had yet to fill with the early morning commuters travelling to work. With a sigh of relief, the boy's face relaxed as he thanked whatever divine spirit that may be for his luck.

_'Yeah. LUCKY me.'_

As quickly as the peaceful demeanour had come to Sora, it had abandoned him in place of the previous pouting scowl. With a huff, he continued on his way down the twisting road in front of him, no longer concerned about the damaged mailbox nor the stone that he had been abusing.

Sora had never been much of a morning person. It was a well known fact by anyone who knew the boy, which, considering he lived in a fairly tight knit community on a small island, was just about everyone. So it was common knowledge among the island's population that Sora wasn't very Sora-like until at least after 10 in the morning on weekdays, and noon on weekends. It wasn't unusual for his neighbors to see the young man flying out of his house on school mornings, shirt half pulled over his head, shoes untied, bookbag being dragged behind him, while chasing after the school bus screaming about oversleeping and cursing his 'alarm clock from the deepest circle of Hell'. However, it _was _unusual for Sora to be in a such a sour mood in the mornings. Most of the time, now matter how early in the day it may be, despite his half asleep status, Sora was still the smiling ray of sunshine the boy had always been. Telling jokes, eyes sparkling with mischief, and emitting laughter that could make the most downtrodden of people smile through half closed eyelids. _That_ was the morning Sora almost everyone knew and loved, and _that_ was the morning Sora that the boy would have been today had it not been for...

_'Stupid Tidus. Stupid Riku.'_

With an agitated snort, Sora glanced down at his watch and let out a dramatic sigh.

_'6:20. FAR too early for anyone in their right mind to be awake.'_

Or at least far too early for him to be awake. Sora usually woke up at seven o'clock, give or take fifteen minutes, which was plenty of time (for him anyway), to get ready of school, which on most mornings, due to his constant tardiness, consisted of: a 3 minute shower, brushing his teeth while rummaging through his closet (and piles of clothes on the floor) for the day's outfit, dressing while running down the stairs, grabbing a piece of toast and darting out the door in time to wave down the bus so he wouldn't have to have his mom drive him to school and being subjected to another lecture on on being more responsible. So, why was it that Sora was awake walking to school when he should have been bed for at least another forty-five minutes?

It all started last summer, on the tenth day of August, more importantly known as Sora's birthday. The young man had finally celebrated his sweet sixteenth, and had insisted that he go to take his driving exam on the very same day. He'd been practicing all summer for it, and could wait no more. After pestering his mother for days, she had reluctantly agreed to take him. Despite what people may think about Sora's occasional bouts of clumsiness and occasional lack of coherent thoughts, the boy was amazingly adept behind the wheel of a car. Needless to say, by that afternoon Sora had acquired his driver's license and was proudly showing it off to all of his friends. They had all been happy for him, some a little shocked he had done so well and actually managed to get a license, but happy nonetheless. Surprisingly enough it was Selphie, who has always been far more clumsy and thought deprived than Sora, who had asked a good question.

"_Sooo...when are you going to get a car so you take us driving around? OHOHOH...we could all drive up the coast and stop at some overlooks and have a picnic and watch the sunset and..."_

Selphie had asked a good question, when _would_ he get a car? Sora decided he needed to have a talk to his mother about this little problem.

_Sora stood in the doorway to the laundry room, quietly watching , Serenity, his mother taking clothes out of the dryer and folding them. After about five minutes of silently watching his mom while nervously shifting his weight, he gathered the courage to ask her._

"_Mom...can I get a car?"_

_With out missing a beat his mother continued her chore._

"_Sure honey, you do have your license now after all."_

_Sora's face split into a wide grin as he hopped a little from the excitement building inside of him._

"_COOL! So when can I get it!"_

_Once again, never looking up at her son, Serenity calmly replied._

"_When you can afford it?"_

_Sora's grin faded as did his excitement, and both were replaced with abundant confusion. Furrowing his brow, Sora began to speak again._

"_...but...aren't you going to...be the one buying it?"_

_Sora's mom continued her work as she had through the entire conversation, the only change this time was a small chuckle before speaking to her son in a condescending yet loving manner._

"_Oh honey, you must have assumed that I meant that I'd buy one for you."_

_If anyone had thought that Sora couldn't have looked more lost at that moment, there were proven wrong as he furrowed his brows even more and just out his bottom lip in a small pout._

"_Isn't that what you said?"_

_At this, Serenity had to pause to suppress her laughter to a small chuckle before continuing her work._

"_No dear, you simply asked me if you could HAVE a car, not whether or not I'd buy one for you."_

_Sora's confusion lifted as the truth to that statement settled in. He bit his bottom lip and looked toward the floor, focusing on some of the stray dust bunnies in the hard to reach crevasse between the dryer and the wall. He was carefully considering how to word his next sentence, almost as he would if he were pleading for his life before the Queen of England herself. His social life depended on his success. Finally deciding on his form of attack, Sora let a small smile come to his lips as he dropped to a deep bow, his nose almost touching his knees. His voice came out overly sweet and desperate. His mother never could resist his cuteness._

"_Oh...well. Mother dearest...would you be so kind as to..."_

_Sora's mother, however, was not as naiive as her son would have thought or preferred, and had already steeled herself against such an assault. Sora had always been an adorable child, able to melt the hearts of anyone he came across. His mother especially. He could almost always manage to get what he wanted through his sweet smile and cute little pout, though he was too naiive to realize the power he held over people. However, upon becoming a teenager, Sora had begun to realize the true power he possessed, and had many times used his sweet demeanor to obtains what he was after. Serenity knew all too well that her son had figured out the power of his naiivity and adorable nature, and had only recently began to use it as a weapon of advantage. She cut him off before he had the chance to finish his well thought out line._

"_Not a chance, sweetie."_

_Sora, surprised by Serenity's resistance to his charm, and the blunt answer that he had received and had NOT been expecting. In all honesty Sora never asked for anything big. It was usually just a few bucks for the movies and an extended curfew. And now that he had asked for something vitally important, to himself at least, he was being denied?_

"_Mo-om! What's the point of having my license if I don't have a car to drive!"_

_Sora's mother stopped folding long enough to place a finger on her chin and appear as though deep in thought before shrugging._

"_Hmmm...you're right. It does sound pretty pointless to me. It's a shame you didn't think of this sooner isn't it sweetie?"_

_She was playing with him and Sora KNEW it. He had to think, and he had to think fast. There had to have been some way to salvage the coversation and regain the advantage in his favor. Suddenly it came to him._

"_But...but...Riku's mom and dad bought him a car for his birthday!"_

_Riku had always been like a second son to his mother. The second son that she wish Sora would pick up some manners from. Sora knew that his mother, along with many others, thought that Riku was the most well-mannered, well behaved, charming young man one could hope to meet. Sora however, knew Riku's darker side. The young man caused twice the amout of mischief that Sora, or anyone else, save for Tidus and Wakka as a pair, could even dream to accomplish. The difference between the two, however, is that Riku could always get away with it. No one would ever suspect Riku, the handsome, energetic, charismatic, honor roll student of wrong doing, and on the few occasions he would get caught, he could always use that charm and wit to come up with a logical explanation, though it was lie nonetheless, as to why he had done it. Riku could do no wrong, he was one of the model teenagers at school that almost every parent wished there child would take after. _

_It was a long shot, but Sora figured it was last option to use Riku as an example as to why she should do this for him. _

_But Serenity had already anticipated this, and had blocked his move just as easily as his first._

"_And Riku's mom and dad doesn't put in 50 hours at the hospital to keep a roof over his head and feed his bottomless stomach like I do. They can afford it, sweetie, I can't. WE can't."_

_Sora dropped his head in defeat and, in all honesty, guilt. He knew that things were more difficult for his mother and him than it was for Riku's family, for several reasons. One being Sora's dad. His father and mother had divorced when he was only six, they had been fighting all of time, and Sora's mother had decided that enough was enough, and his father agreed. The divorce wasn't a messy one, thankfully, his father had left the house and the island altogether, leaving his mother and him everything. As for child support, it wasn't that the man didn't or couldn't pay for it. He was after all one of the top people in a large advertising firm, but his mother had decided on a small amount of support. When Sora had gotten older and asked his mom why his dad wasn't forced to pay nearly as much as most other men in his situation, his mother had told him that it was her decision. She didn't want to feel that she owed him anything, and she wanted to take care of Sora on her own as much as she could. It was difficult for the both of them, with Serenity having to work so many hours to keep things going, but she always made time at the end of each day to talk to her son, and she would stretch herself to attend all of his school functions, host slumber parties, and basically be a part in every aspect of his life. She was a DAMN good mother._

_Riku's parents were both well paid business consultants, and their job usually took them out of town for weeks at a time. Though they could afford to own and maintain a lavish home, the latest in entertainment technology and gadgets, and multiple Mercedes-Benz, they were hardly there for their son. It was kind of sad in a way. Sora could count on one hand how many of Riku's school plays, Blitzball games, PTA meetings, and birthdays his parents had attended since the start of Junior High. The couple were only home on occasional holidays, or long enough to get a few affairs in order before they packed up and headed back out again. They rarely spoke to their son, and when they did they rarely asked anything about his life. But despite their absence, Riku had become the intelligent young man he was reknown for, all through his own resolution and perserverance. Of course that didn't stop them from taking credit on the few times they were home long enough to attend a scholastic event. Sora had many times wanted to go up to the two and chew them out for treating Riku they way they had, yet had the gumption to take credit for Riku's achievements. Riku of course had told him to let it go. He had accepted it._

_Sora didn't think he could imagine not having his mother in his life as much as she was. His mother was a constant in his life, his guidepost, his North Star when he was lost at sea. He could always depend on having his mother to guide him in his times of need. And he knew that she wouldn't have it any other way._

_Feeling the overwhelming wave of guilt wash over him, Sora felt the need to apologize._

"_Mom...I'm sorry. It's just...you know...I was so excited and all."_

_Serenity sighed and laid down the shirt she was in the middle of folding. She hated seeing Sora like this, her son wasn't built for being anything other than sickeningly happy and upbeat. Walking over to him, Serenity pulled him in to a tight hug that he didn't bother to resist._

"_I know, sweetie. I know. I wish I could get you a car. I really do. You've been such a good son...most of the time."_

"_Hey!"_

_Serenity smiled, knowing that her son wasn't really upset and was just reverting back to his normally playful self._

"_But seriously, you've been such a good boy and have never given me much of a problem, and you've grown into a fine young man. I'm proud of you, Sora. And if I could afford it, I would buy you whatever car you wanted."_

_Sora love moments like these with his mom. He wouldn't trade them for any car, any amount of money, not even the world itself. _

"_Thanks ma."_

_Serenity smiled, and kissed her son's forehead before pulling back to look Sora in the eyes. They were still so innocent and bright. Serenity hoped that he never lost that._

"_No problem, honey. Hey...how about this. I'll pay for your insurance if you get a job and get your own car. I can afford that. You don't have to if you don't want to...but at least it's something. Just think about it...okay?"_

_Sora smiled and nodded._

"_I'll think about it...thanks Lady."_

_Serenity chuckled at the nickname her son had given her years ago. He had been watching Animaniacs when he was little, and happened to see a Mindy and Buttons cartoon. The little girl always called her mom 'lady' instead of mom. Sora had started doing that to Serenity not long after, and it had been a ongoing joke since._

And Sora had thought about it, he would lay awake and night and contemplate the options. Sacrifice part of his days and evenings, or be without a car? Not having a car really didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. Sure, it would be convenient to have his own vehicle, but he was never one too lazy to walk if he really had to. No, it was more than that now. It was a right of passage. If Sora got a job, he would be admitting to himself that he was becoming a full fledged adult, complete with the responisibilities. That was a scary thought for anyone. But of course, he knew it was inevitable. It's something that everyone has to face in life, growing up cannot be stopped. And though he had accepted that fact, it didn't mean he had to enjoy it. Things were tense enough now as it was. All of his friends, people he had known since before he could walk, played with on a daily basis, talked to every day of his life, and himself were nearing there final years of high school. Then the world would so visciously rip them apart and scatter them into the wind. They had all talked about what they wanted to do in life, and while most were going to college on the island or taking a year off just to relax and 'discover themselves', Sora knew that no matter the distance between them, short or long, that life would take effect, and they would begin having less and less time for each other. Some friendships will continue, some will crumble, but in the end, the carefree life that they've come to know and love will cease to be, and will be replaced with one full of responsibilities and expectations.

In the end, Sora decided to put all of those thoughts behind him and worry about it when the time came, he never was one to dwell on such things for too long. After a few more nights and days of consideration, Sora came to the conclusion that a job wouldn't be a bad idea. In fact, he may even _like_ it. That's where things _started _to go wrong.

Author's Notes:

Like I said, this chapter is going to be a long one. Granted, it's not as long as some other chapters of fanfics I've read on here, but still fairly large.

The reason I called this chapter Up to Speed is because of it's purpose. To bring you up to speed on what's happening in Sora's life. Pretty obvious, I know, but I figured I'd throw in there just in case.

I've already got the second part of Chapter One started, and should hopefully have it up in the next few days. I'll try updating once every two to three weeks (hopefully), so let's just keep our fingers crossed that my muse doesn't leave me and we can expect and update at least once a month...hopefully more. I'll say it again, this is the first time I've written anything this in depth for quite awhile, so please forgive any grammar or spelling errors. I'm looking for a beta reader, so if anyone's interested please e-mail me (it's in my profile) and let me know if your interested in the job. Unfortunately, it doesn't pay well.

I hope you all enjoyed this first entry. Reviews are greatly appreciated.


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